You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
