I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
