Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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