Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
