the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
