She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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