Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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