It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
