Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
