I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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