He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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