found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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