He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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