i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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