im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
do nipples grow back?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize