you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's never too late to be topless.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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