you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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