Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
