Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
