the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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