I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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