he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
