Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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