I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize