let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize