even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
