And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
