i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize