3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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