Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
