who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
