i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
