i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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