no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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