We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
