Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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