i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
