She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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