so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
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I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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