He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
