You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
