I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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