Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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