Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We left an ass print on the piano.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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