At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
