i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize