Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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