i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
