It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
