I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
