i permit you to call me
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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