Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize