I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
