R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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