There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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