So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
