why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize