i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
