Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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